Are you ready to risk your safety, reasonableness, and old way of doing things — and actually start living?

Many of us grew up fluent with achievement — good grades, usefulness, discipline. Our birth culture produced competence, but not aliveness.

A lot got sacrificed: desire, play, a sense of self, deeper purpose, the fire of wanting.

And for many Asian men, there’s another layer — our masculinity was flattened, our sexuality ignored, and desirability was something that happened only for people who didn’t look like us.

This is the fire I’ve walked out of, and that I help other Asian men walk out of, too.

If you’ve ever felt:

• valuable only when you’re performing
• disconnected from your own passion
• invisible or emasculated
• afraid or unable to feel desire or pleasure
• trapped between cultural/parental expectations and your actual wants
• or maybe even unable to know what you want at all

This work is for you.

If you want to explore working together, the next step is a conversation to see if we’re a good fit.

My Story

I didn’t like being an Asian man growing up. I was short. I hated being flattened into a stereotype. I hated being invisible as a sexual being. Everything about me—my intelligence, my discipline, my achievements—reinforced a box I didn’t want.

I spent years chasing validation. In my early twenties, I got interested in seduction and pick-up communities. I wanted sex, not for connection or intimacy, but so I could prove myself to be valuable. I came across a line about how “a woman will sleep with you at 60% trust, not 100%.”

It was meant to encourage men that getting laid was easier than they thought. But I started wondering: What happens beyond 60% trust? What’s beyond just “getting sex?” For the first time, I became curious about intimacy instead of viewing relationships as another medium for achievement. I started confronting that in order to be able to create intimacy, I had to be something on the inside, not just another hollow man.

The truth was I had been Pac-Man—eating whatever was put in front of me, following the path laid out, terrified to ask what I actually wanted. I was competent, disciplined, and useful. But I was not alive.

Sharpen yourself, work hard, become “so good they can’t ignore you.” I mastered that masculine half. What I had to learn later was the second half—developing a sense of Being, developing the capacity to experience life directly through my body, feelings, impulses, and unique lineage.

Now I walk other Asian men through the same terrain.

What We’ll Work Towards

This is what you’ll integrate into your life:

Full Access to Feelings

• Rewiring your body’s physiology so you can feel your feelings
• Stopping mental circuits that analyze everything, so you can experience life, rather than judge it
• Healing emotional wounds/triggers that take you out of reality and connection
• Rewriting old decisions that limit who you allow yourself to be

Unlocked Desire

• Learning to let go of control — learning to follow your soul-level impulses, no matter how nonsensical or nonlinear
• Embracing an wild and authentic, rather than reasonable, life

Sensuality & Pleasure

• Feeling turn-on and pleasure in your body
• Learning how to be with your sexual desires in ways that contribute to connection
• Unwinding shame about Asian bodies and identities

Passion & Purpose

• Moving away from being oriented solely around being “competent and useful”
• Dealing with the groundlessness of letting that go
• Developing a sense of direction that comes from you—not culture or family
• Being inspired by your ancestry and culture without being imprisoned by it

How We’ll Get There

Here’s what it’s like to work together.

Scheduling a call is the best way to get a sense of how I’ll work with you. But in short, this isn’t talk therapy. We work through your body, emotions, stories, and the deeper layers of identity. You’ll run experiments in your life — things like having a specific conversation you’ve been avoiding, or trying on a new behavior — so we can see what opens and what gets in the way.

Typically I work with people over 3-6 months with weekly sessions. Sessions are experiential. We slow down until you can actually feel what’s happening in your body, mind, and heart. We listen for the part of you that has never had a voice. Then you get to practice letting that voice lead.

Depending on what comes up, we might do Emotional Healing Processes, boundary work, imaginal desire work, or explore a story that has shaped how you move through the world. The aim is to build the foundation that lets your longings, sexuality, clarity, and purpose come through you.

If you’re curious what this might look like for you, let’s have a call to explore your challenges and whether we’ll work well together.